I think this one’s been around for a while, but it never fails to crack me up….seems to be making the rounds again……

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance – particularly, in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 seems to have uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then to make matters worse, it installed undesirable programs such as NHL 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Please help me! What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Wife

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. In a new browser window please enter the address: “http://I-Thought-You-Loved-Me.html” and download Tears 6.2, and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or worse, Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do NOT attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It requires an investment of time and patience. You might also consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We highly recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,
Tech Support